(img credit: Sapta P.)

It’s been almost two years since my last writing-spree at the now in-memoriam Reading Lights with Reading Lights Writer’s Circle. I remember my first day at the circle. It was Saturday afternoon, the rain slowly pouring as I walk pass the glass-door and awkwardly browsing through the room trying to find anyone look like a writer. Really, how distinct will that person be, angie! Turns out they were not writing at the library but at the backyard. A separate pavilion set behind the kitchen, accessible via small -almost hidden- entryway made of brick stairs, few steps above the main library. Imagine what it’s like for the introvert me to take the stairs.. slowly approaching a room full of strangers, to write.

Then there they are, gather on the couch on some vintage setting room. They were chatting and immediately notice me coming. One of them, I remember being Sapta welcome me inside, ask me to introduce myself. I came few minutes before the writing begins, so my introduction came short. I remember what it feels like writing with other people nearby, about a specific theme, in such a short time then read it afterward. My voice was extremely small and my hands shaking from being nervous. I wrote about the clouds and rain and how they turn the gloomy world into a rainbow. It was awful! I think I still awful at writing, by the way ^^. But they appreciated it and somehow point out good things about my writing. I write since I was a kid, but that was the first time I write with a bunch of writers, read it out loud and surrender to every opinion come after. I remember feeling happy and excited at the same time.

So I come again the next Saturday, and the next, and the next. Until years later, life changes make it difficult for us to keep this Saturday routine. Some move to other city, others get too busy to come every weekend. One day, we found ourselves in stranded room and just call it a day. After that, sometime between Saturdays, we’re able to meet and write a little. My last one was with Andika and Rizal down at the library. It was almost two years ago. An afternoon I remember clearly because I write something very different from what I used to write. The first different story, and the last. Since somehow my brain keep finding excuses not to write stories again.

But oh I miss those Saturdays! As time goes, I realize I begin to lose focus when writing. My words become lost in some letter-pool inside this brick-brain of mine. Then I forgot what it’s like to transfer my feelings into written language, tend to push myself to finish everything as soon as possible. Now I write readable phrases instead of full opinion or rich statement. I know I was never that good, but this is frustrating. More so when Reading Lights close this August. I always thought I can just come over every once in a while, that the writing haven will always be there for me to hold onto. That somehow those Saturday will catch me up for an ol’ hello. It was heart-breaking. We had a final meet-up there on Sunday before RL’s last day on August 31st. It’s sad, but I’m glad we’re able to come together for the last time.

Now last October when I write how my brain was moving super slow lately, Sapta suggest that I gather with like-minded people, or “meeting same bird” as he put it. He further suggests that we reignite the circle at his coffee-shop called Senemu, located in the breeze of Dago 374. Started from just a comment on my Facebook post, this plan become actual just like that! I think I’m not the only one missing the rendezvous on Saturday 🙂

Our first meeting begin October 29th at 3 p.m. When I came (late), there are already Azisa and her brother Ilham, Fadil, Uli, Prima and of course Sapta. Ever since the idea pop, I can’t wait for the day to come (two weeks after the initial post). However, when it actually arrives, I’m so nervous yet excited. It’s been a while! But we met like old family, talk about many things and laugh like we never part. It was very nice, our first meeting at Senemu remind me why I love coming to Reading Lights every Saturday years ago. I don’t realize how much I miss that. Now after few days I still find myself smiling a lot remembering that first meeting. As we put it, “the one place where we abnormals become ourselves yet feel completely normal.” The therapy session as we talk to like-minded people. That Saturday we wrote about “First Meeting.” A theme marks our establishment as a -new but old- writing club. We also create a Whatsapp group for easy communication. Now we’re officially Lingkar Penulis Senemu.

Our second meeting Nov 5th bring Anggi and Zora to the bunch. This time we write about “Identitas.” Very cool stories just flowing through the air! Can’t wait for our next meeting this Saturday. Now in Senemu, I found the lost piece of me. The part where my awkward weird-self feel completely normal.